I used to hate that truth or dare game we played as kids. I remember once being dared to knock on the neighbour’s window. I have absolutely no recollection of who dared me to do it nor of the person who lived there. The only thing I can remember is how terrified I was.
How times have changed! I no longer knock on the neighbour’s window for no apparent reason. But being scared (and sometimes terrified) by experiences which feel ‘daring’ – which force me outside my comfort zone or which I don’t think I can do – remains.
When I think of doing something which would force me to step out of my comfort zone, I am reminded of one of my most favourite passages in any book; from The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay:
The power of one is above all things the power to believe in yourself, often well beyond any latent ability you may have previously demonstrated. The mind is the athlete; the body is simply the means it uses to run faster or longer, jump higher, shoot straighter, kick better, swim harder, hit further or box better. Hoppie’s dictum to me: ‘First with the head and then with heart’ was more than mixing brains with guts. It meant thinking well beyond the powers of normal concentration and then daring your courage to follow your thoughts.
When was the last time you dared your courage to follow your thoughts?
You know the thoughts I am talking about. When you hear of, read or see something and think to yourself “I would love to do that”. Perhaps the thrill of the idea causes the butterflies in your stomach to take flight. But just as quickly as the butterflies take off, another thought comes to mind – “I can’t” or “there is no possible way I could do that”.
Of course the practicalities of modern life (jobs, mortgages, school holidays etc) are often outside our control and limit our ability to bring some of our dreams to fruition.
But we all have dreams & goals for which the only thing holding us back are the “I couldn’t/I can’t” thoughts that spring from a lack of confidence or self-belief. These types of self-limiting thoughts hamper almost each & every one of us, not only in our sporting endeavours but in our lives in general. But our thoughts are within our control and therefore we can change them. So why are you still holding yourself back from setting out to achieve your goal?
It has only been in recent years that I have started to find the courage to follow (some of) my thoughts. In the last 5 or so years, I have finished a race almost no-one thought I was capable of finishing and called off an engagement. I have left a very well paying job to go hiking around the world for 6 months (also risking a new relationship in the process). I then came home to accept another well paying job with the intention of leaving it (sooner rather than later) and the ‘security blanket’ the income provides in order to start SPARTA and work in a field I am passionate about.
The word ‘courage’ gets tossed around far too much these days. I certainly don’t think any of these decisions were ‘courageous’. But I know each & every single one required me to take a deep breathe, disregard all the negative “I can’t / I shouldn’t” thoughts, trust the part of me that knew I wanted to (and, in some cases, needed to) take the action and do it, stepping w-a-y outside my comfort zone in the process. In most cases, it took me years after I first thought of the idea before I actually had the guts to take the plunge.
Of course, this is not to say that I have had sufficient courage to follow all of my thoughts. There is one in particular that comes to mind; I haven’t yet been able to believe that it is possible. But I’m working on it!
It seems to me that a lack of confidence or self-belief which holds us back from setting out to achieve our goals & dreams often comes from our perceived limitations; that is, limitations which we assume we have (which are rarely, if ever, grounded on fact).
In terms of our sports and recreational activities, of course everyone has actual physical limitations. We are human after all 
But our actual physical limitations – what our body is actually capable of doing – generally far exceeds any limitations we think we have. And only by daring to ignore the fear and doubt and negative thoughts can we put aside our perceived limitations and take whatever steps are necessary to move closer towards our goals & actual limitations (often surprising ourselves in the process).
The saying ‘you will pass out before you die so keep running” comes to mind. Of course I am not suggesting you should do that. Rather, that you are physically capable of much more than you think you are. How many times have you been exercising & slowed down, stopped, used a lighter weight or cut an effort or interval short, not because your body told you it had to stop but because your mind did?
The most important lesson I have learnt in recent years – and it is something I believe a lot of women in particular struggle with – is to always challenge any preconceived notions I have about what I am, or am not, capable of. My actual limitations have always been very different – and far greater – from what I perceived my limitations to be. I am physically capable of doing so much more than I think I am. And I know you are too
When was the last time you dared your courage to follow your thoughts? What goals or dreams do you only dare to dream but have not yet allowed yourself to believe was possible?
It’s a great reminder that it is our mind that puts the breaks on rather than our body!
I agree the word ‘courage’ is being used a lot these days. Two things spring to mind as I read our comment about that. 1) I need to remember that not everyone’s perception of what is courageous for them is the same for me: what takes them a lot of courage may not take much for me; and 2) maybe we could keep up the use of the word ‘courage’ and use it to inspire others; within our respective areas of expertise courage to inspire the mind to push the body, courage to inspire effective, productive managers, etc!
Interesting read, nice to get a more personal insight from you Jen!
Sally | Fast Tracks Manager Productivity
Hi Sally
You reminded me (which I hadn’t thought of when writing the post) that people have often said to me words to the effect that I have more ‘courage’ than they do after they have heard of my hiking / travel / mountaineering adventures. I think it is important to remember to people’s perceptions are different but that we all ultimately have the same challenge; to find a way to overcome whatever ‘speed humps’ or challenges are in our way
Thanks for dropping by!
Jen
Hi Jen, I love the personal story you share at the beginning. It takes you from training expert to a real person I can relate to and would love to hang out with – even if you did make me run miles and hump medicine balls around:)
Since starting my blog almost 2 years ago I’ve become so courageous it scares me! I even stood up at a local market and made a speech about my fave topic (business blogging:) My knees were knocking but I know I need to learn to talk in public to spread my message further and I’m doing it.
I am so happy to read your blog and know my book has helped you. What you’re doing here is excellent and I know you’ll reap the rewards from your hard work and brave writing. Top marks Jen:)
Hi Annabel,
Thank you so much for your lovely comments! I can’t begin to describe how much your book has helped me.
As Lorna said in her comment, I am a very private person. So putting some personal stories out there was very uncomfortable for me. My knees weren’t quite knocking but it was a close call
But aside from making me seem like a real person, the personal stories I think can be reassuring; it is nice to know that we aren’t alone. That others have the same struggles and challenges that we do.
Regards
Jen
Hi Jen,
Great article – I related 100%
Loved your story about truth and dare. I could feel the butterflies in my own stomach as I imagined you knocking on those windows.
Almost every day I face those self-doubts and every day I need to talk myself through them. Sometimes I just find the courage and do it and other times I do something I feel confident doing first then tackle the other thing when I’m feeling more positive.
Great article – thanks
Thank you Suellen for dropping by!
Isn’t it interesting how we face these types of challenges in each & every day in some form or another? Like you, my approach to tackling them changes depending on the challenge & my mood that day
Some days I knock them over as my very first project of the day. Other days, procrastination rules the roost!
Regards
Jen
Great post Jen!
Totally agree with Sally’s comment above; most people fear public speaking yet I love it. I have spoken at a conference with hundreds of people looking at me and it didn’t take a lot of courage on my part. However, riding on the road does make me scared!
My therapist once said to me “always go towards the source of the anxiety (or fear)” and those words have stuck with me. I too finished “that” race and I didn’t think I was capable of it. I know “I’m stronger than I think I am” and that mantra also stood me in good stead.
For someone who (unlike me) is very private, this was a gutsy post and I reckon it paid off. Many people will read this and relate. Proud to have you as my friend and my trainer
Thank you – that means a lot
By the way, I hate public speaking. And I’m a lawyer – go figure
I remember that race. You’re a great example for your clients Jen.
By the way, you’ll never get me doing public speaking — I’d climb Everest first.
Hi Ewen,
I remember enjoying your company during the first few kilometres of that race before you dropped me
Thank you for your kind comment; I appreciate that.
Regards
Jen
I’ve come to two conclusions in my life Jen
1. Fear and courage should be treated for what they are – illusions to give you an excuse – “I’m scared” or “others are more courageous” are just imaginings – a story that you tell yourself. Only objective will matters – either you want a certain outcome or you don’t. If the desire is worth the risk then that isn’t courage and if the risk outweighs the desire, then that isn’t fear – it’s just good sense. Whenever we perceive fear, the way forward is to remind ourselves that we can choose. Always there is choice – sometimes our choices are limited by circumstance, but there is always choice, even if that choice is the way we think. I love The Power of One, but I think Hoppie got it around the wrong way – I believe you lead with your heart, but not heart as in guts, but heart as in an actions rightness. If it is right, then it is right – examine your heart for the rightness of what you are doing, is it right to keep going, or is it right to stop, decision made then let your brain then sort out the details. Never let fear or courage drive behaviour, do whatever it is you do because you choose to.
2. Thinking about stuff is always harder than doing it!
Hi Jenruns,
Who can forget when we – cool runners – started just using chat on Cool Running.
1. You helped Jenny and I when when we needed legal documents. Small world hey.
2. Had a great F2F talking running and sharing books in Mosman circa October 2005
3. I provided an unsuccessful suggestion to a name for a dream. Like the one a pom my picked.
4. Imagine where you would be if the archaeology dream hit the ground running
5. But really want to know if you memorised that Bryce Courtney quote or had to find the paragraph in the book.
Congrats on what you have achieved.
Cheers Plu